|
WEB SITE TERMS OF USE
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our
lawyers made us include it and made us use a precious button on our home
page to get you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain.
But then we read the page. What a Netwakening! It's really important
stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into
readable English. So be a smart nethead and read the stuff on this page.
It could prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from
really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We
run this site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it
for personal entertainment, information, education, communication, and
cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can
even download stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal
use. If you do, though, don't fool around with the copyright and other
notices all over the stuff. They're there for a really good reason. And
don't even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing,
re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including the
text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless
we give you written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If
you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to [read: stuck with]
the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation
that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide Web, or Los
Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or browse the site if you have any
problem with that, because once you start, there's no turning back --
you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So
here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out on
our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on
the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use the
stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the
site without our written permission. And like we said before, it's not
likely we'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to,
the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's better you don't
even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site,
we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not promising you
anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site,
you're using it at your own risk. Don't call us if there's a problem
because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions
on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create,
produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer
when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our
disclaimer includes direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or
punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site.
Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to
you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED,
INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF
MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of
implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to
you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding
the exclusion of implied warranties. Ugh! What a mouthful from the
mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we couldn't figure out
any other way to say it that the lawyers would accept. But here's the
bottom line -- we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the
site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses.
We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something, don't post in on the
site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's because anything you
disclose to us is ours. That's right -- ours. So we can do anything we
want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit
it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even
send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that,
we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post
any way we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you post.
5.
Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property
or someone else's property we're using with their permission. No matter
what, it's definitely not your property. You or any of your net-friends
can't use it unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on
the site. And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky,
because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart,
keep the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of
trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either we own or
we're using with someone else's permission. So don't think you have any
kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and we're not
about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with our
trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll probably go
ballistic, so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos
and service marks. That means that we're likely to sue you or to ask a
prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our property or the
property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked our
site to lots of others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked
at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you link to is bad or
has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but
remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what
you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups,
or look at the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin
boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the
content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel,
slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you
might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And don't be
stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous,
defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty,
mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may
consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or
for that matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we certainly
respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any
law enforcement authorities or court which might ask us who might have
posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this
Site is protected by all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that,
you can't download or send the software to anyone in the vacation travel
spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other
country where United States has embargoed goods; or (get this) to anyone
on the United States Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated
Nationals, the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the
FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding on the last one).
As if that were not tough enough, if you live in or are a national of
any of those lovely places, you're not even supposed to be reading this
page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and
anything else on the site any time we want to. That's because it's ours
and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page,
then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you
visit our site.
If either of us wants to make something of it and
wants to "sue" (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of
engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This
Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of Florida, without
regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have
in any manner violated or threatened to violate InstantBlogSubmitter.com
and/or its affiliates' intellectual property rights,
InstantBlogSubmitter.com and/or its affiliates may seek injunctive or
other appropriate relief in any state or federal court in the State of
Florida, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If
a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try to resolve
it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the following
location: Seminole County. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees
associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory
solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding
arbitration at the following location: Seminole County, under the rules
of the American Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award
rendered by the arbitration may be entered in any court with
jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and
undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the
first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was
outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look disappointed!
Oct 9th, 2005
InstantBlogSubmitter.com
|
